BAJA HA-HA 2023, THE POOBAH'S VERSION
One of the really fun things about the Ha-Ha is that you often get to sail in close company
with a bunch of other boats ever though you're in the middle of nowhere.
Immigration officer Ricardo, center, with
Assistant
Poobah Patsy, right,
checking in boats at the
'Immigration Office' aboard Profligate.
Having had boats of mine in Mexico for almost every one of the last 40 winters, it was the most miraculous thing I've ever seen. I speak of long-time San Carlos, Baja California Sur Immigration Officer Ricardo Martinez sitting in the cockpit of the Ha-Ha mothership Profligate at anchor in Bahia Santa Maria at 7 pm on a Monday, carefully hand-stamping the passports of the crews of 66 Ha-Ha boats. He was joined by Captain Aviation Pilot Jose Juan Castro Zamudio.
The two were accompanied by Bob Hoyt of Mag Bay Outfitters, who was the architect of the novel checking-in process, and who was taking care of checking the boats, as opposed to people, into Mexico online. Each boat owner would receive their ship's clearance electronically while en route to Cabo San Lucas.
All three had made a very rough three-hour small boat trip, the last half in the pitch black, from San Carlos to Bahia Santa Maria just to stamp the passports. The only reason there was a 2023 Ha-Ha is because of Ricardo and Bob's efforts. I won't go into the details, but without their help, the Ha-Ha would have been a logistical impossibility.
Ha-Ha'ers lined up behind the Immigration Office
on Profligate. It was dark, but nobody cared,
as it was the easiest checking-in process ever.
The actual passport stamping process was an assembly line that would have made Henry Ford grin. By VHF the Poobah had summoned boat skippers, with crew passports, division by division to come to the transom of Profligate. They were greeted there by crew Chris, who handed the passports to crew runner Lynn, who handed them to Assistant Poobah Patsy Verhoeven for pre-processing, who handed them to Dona de Mallorca, who opened each passport to a blank page so Ricardo didn't have to waste time searching for one. After Ricardo had affixed his signature and stamped the passports, they were handed to crew Kris for post-stamping review, and then back to runner Lynn for return to the boat skipper. A real machine.
It was an only-in-Mexico kind of thing, where well over 250 people were processed by Immigration in less than two hours. It was quicker, easier, and less expensive than any other way.
"The check-in at Bahia Santa Maria was fantastic," reported Jamie Gull of the CT 44 Jambo. "The easiest check-in ever," agreed Kim Eddy of the Island Packet 440 of Amazing Grace III. "It was surreal," recalls Ha-Ha recidivist Joe Heinzmann of the Swan 55 Swan Fun, "as all the skippers were in dinghies with passports at night behind Profligate. The ease of check-in alone may be reason enough to do a Ha-Ha in the future."
It turned out that the boats that had started in San Diego, but stopped in Ensenada to check into Mexico there because they weren't confident that the Bahia Santa Maria scheme would work, had wasted nearly a day, spent more money, and missed the world-famous Bazeball game in Turtle Bay.
To be honest, even the Poobah harbored considerable doubts about the process until the moment the official's boat appeared out of the dark to raft up against the big cat. Had it not worked, the entire process, and Ha-Ha, would have logistically and fiscally blown up in the Poobah's face. After six months of doubts, it was as though the weight of the world had been lifted from his shoulders.
The bottom line? There will be a 30th-anniversary Ha-Ha starting from San Diego on November 4, with sign-ups beginning at noon on May 9.
Shortly after the rolling start at San Diego was
declared, the wind filled in nicely.
As for the Ha-Ha itself, it was a classic in that all Ha-Ha's are the same but at the same time are very different. As you'll learn, a couple of this year's differences were striking.
After the Last Cheeseburger in Paradise Costume and Kickoff Party at West Marine on sunny Sunday, October 30, the fleet got a 10 am Monday parade sendoff from a spewing San Diego fireboat, then headed to the south of Zuniga Jetty for an 11 am start.
As there was no wind, the Poobah instigated the Ha-Ha's unique 'rolling start' protocol. After all, there is nothing more depressing than starting a long passage by wallowing in place with no wind. The Poobah won't have that. The rolling start hardly proved necessary, for 15 minutes later Providence smiled down on the fleet with a warm breeze that soon had boats sliding toward the border at close to hull speed.
It was such a pretty sight that several drones were launched from the fleet to capture the action under sunny skies. Filming moving objects from a moving object is tricky, so before it was over the drone from Colin Taylor and 42 Crista Goddard's Barnett Shoofly went for a fatal swim. The waters of the world are littered with fallen drones.
The yacht leading the way south was the most unusual one in the fleet, West Marine founder Randy Repass and wife Sally-Christine's Wylie 65 cat ketch Convergence. Along with Michael and Barbara Lawler on the North Wind 47 Traveler, Randy and Sally-Christine were the only couples in this year's fleet who had already completed a circumnavigation.
The mahi were biting. Jim Drake holds up one of the six
mahi
that were caught in five minutes from Profligate.
Kirk Lance, Dean Sutherland, and Joe Tanner's Ocean Alexander 46 Lightning, one of a record six motor yachts in the Ha-Ha, caught 11 fish on the first leg and lost four lures. They caught four fish and lost one lure on Leg Two. "We didn't fish on the third leg because there was no more room in the freezer," the three reported.
As always, the best fishing would be on the Second Leg. For instance, Profligate landed six mahi in five minutes, a record even for one-time commercial fisherman Chuck Skewes. The last mahi struck just 15 feet from the transom as the lines were being taken in.
Joe Cowan's Catalina 36 Rocinante would hook the biggest fish, though, a 120-lb marlin just two miles from the Cabo finish line. Just weeks before serious fisherman had been battling in the same for $12.5 million in the Bisbee Marlin Tournament prize money.
As night fell on the First Leg, the 95-boat fleet, up 18% from last year, had spread out from a rhumb line course to sailing so far offshore that one cat was in danger of t-boning Guadeloupe Island. By the middle of the night, the wind had fallen spotty. Some boats had a decent breeze for a while, and some had nothing.
What everyone enjoyed was unusually warm weather and uncommonly flat seas. This would turn out to be perhaps the warmest and driest Ha-Ha in memory.
Spotty conditions continued throughout the next day, with some boats reporting fine sailing for some periods, and others motoring most of the time. By now participants were well into the routine of trying to fly spinnakers, cooking at sea, missing sleep, enjoying the sea life, and discovering things that weren't working or had broken. Normal Ha-Ha stuff.
Thanks to considerable motoring, the first quarter of the fleet arrived at the Turtle Bay first stop late on the afternoon of the third day, with about half the fleet arriving by the next morning. Everybody received the usual warm Turtle Bay welcome, where makeshift bars and restaurants had been set up for the occasion.
The arrival of the Ha-Ha fleet is the biggest day of the year for the lovable dusty village, and the locals turned out to watch and mingle. They love the Ha-Ha, as it's like Christmas, New Year's, and Day of the Dead wrapped up in one.
Fuel, ice, water, and garbage pick-up were all available by panga.
The town had also built a grand new ladder up to the pier, made with the finest untreated wood and with the nuts on some fasteners hanging on by just half a turn. OSHA inspectors would have fainted.
The marquee event of the first full day in Turtle Bay was the Bazeball game at beautiful Ha-Ha Stadium, the artificially turfed pride of Turtle Bay. About half the cruisers arrived in time for the game, and like always every boy in the region had turned out. Soon the girls showed, then the mothers with infants.
It was an epic fast-paced game, featuring as many as 50 people in the field at one time and 150 in the on-deck 'circle'. Nothing like the snoozefests that are Major League Baseball. While the crowd was down slightly from some previous years because of light Leg One winds, the enthusiasm was high. They did several excellent 'waves'.
In a game where no score is kept and the pace is go-go-go, the big winners turned out to be the infants and women, as rules prohibit them from ever being called out.
Have you seen a video of migrants storming the Southern Border of the United States? It looked something like that after the game as Poobah tried to hold back the swarm of kids who wanted the first crack at picking from the tens of thousands of dollars worth of donated equipment.
'The last shall be the first' was the Poobah's method of deciding who got the early choices. Aggression was penalized, not rewarded.
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The rickety pier and fuel dispensary.
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Long may it survive.
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Among those who arrived too late for the Bazeball game was Assistant Poobah Patsy Verhoeven of the Gulfstar 50 Talion, who values sailing above all else. Not many sailors are happy when the mainsail flops and the speedo reads double zeros, but Patsy finds joy in such conditions. Did we mention she cooks all the meals, too? Her Talion was the only boat to sail the entire first leg.
Brian Downing of Dark Horse is the Poobah's
hero.
Brian was able to make the orange
winch part
with his onboard 3D printer.
The morning in port VHF nets are active at each Ha-Ha stop, with much of the time taken by skippers looking for assistance with diesels, Starlink, watermakers, sails, dinghy outboards, and every other boat-related system or thing. The most sought-after items this year were belts for Raymarine autopilots. Several spares were located in the fleet.
Profligate had one of the more curious needs. Just before the Ha-Ha, her cockpit winches had been reassembled by a novice technician, and three of the four were put back together without the tiny but critical plastic part that peels the line off the self-tailer mechanism. This was a semi-disaster, as the winches could only be used in manual mode, which required at least half the 12-person crew on deck during a gybe, the Poobah's most beloved sailing maneuver.
Fortunately, the Poobah had written the bios for every Ha-Ha entry and recalled that Brian Downing on the Beneteau 49 Dark Horse had mentioned that he loved tinkering with boats and even had a 3D printer onboard. Was it possible he could fabricate the small plastic part?
The next day Downing had made three of them in two sizes. They not only fit perfectly, but the tiny new plastic pieces were bright orange, giving a stunning contrast to the black and chrome Harken winches. Soon everybody is going to want this winch fashion statement.
Boat Bum Gal's breadcrumb course shows her
unusually
close to shore before she turned left
at
the northern tip of Turtle Bay, hit a rock, and sank.
The amount of knowledge, gear, and parts available in the Ha-Ha fleet is one of its greatest attractions.
Late that night there was a Ha-Ha anomaly — a boat lost. With Coast Guard 200-ton licensed skipper Ray McCormack the Person in Charge of Sandra Barnes' Nicholson 38 Boat Bum Gal, the boat hit a rock while cutting the northwest corner of Turtle Bay too close. Thanks to modern tracking capabilities, at least one person not in the Ha-Ha was able to 'watch' electronically as it happened.
Boat Bum Gal's breadcrumb trail revealed that the boat had been following the 10-meter depth line for a considerable period of time. This perplexed a lot of skippers, the Poobah included. McCormack later explained that he felt the boat wasn't in the best of condition, so he'd gone closer to shore to get relief from 22-knot offshore winds. And then, at just the wrong time, the autopilot failed and darted toward shore. He reports the hydraulically powered autopilot couldn't be shut off for 30 seconds, and by then the old but stout boat had slammed into a rock.
Even though the entrance to Turtle Bay is almost 20% wider than the entrance to San Francisco Bay, the Ha-Ha does its best to keep participants out of danger while on approach. First, the 'finish line' is purposely located 15 miles north and 15 miles west of the entrance. Second, there is a written warning about the entrance in the Rally Instructions. Third, a verbal warning is given at the Skipper's Meeting.
It immediately became clear to Boat Bum Gal's crew that the boat was going to sink. So a mayday was put out on 16, and in less than 15 minutes owner Sandra Barnes, skipper McCormack, and crew Bryan had gotten into the boat's small dinghy. Just a few minutes later they were picked up by Mexican fishermen, and shortly after that a Ha-Ha boat that had heard the mayday showed up.
Accommodations were found for the three shipwreck victims at 2 am. Barnes reported she was treated wonderfully by the local officials and the Navy, who inspected and photographed the wreckage the next day. After getting identification of the crew, everyone was released and the case was closed. The Coast Guard, of course, had also been alerted.
Both Sandra and Ray came aboard Profligate to report what had happened. Sandra was asked if she needed money or anything else, but said she didn't. The three later made the long bus ride to the TransPeninsular Highway, and from there made their way home.
The skipper's account of the incident and the sailing world's reaction can easily be found on the internet.
Boat Bum Gal was the third of 3,000 or so boats to have been lost in the 29 Ha-Ha's to date. The others were the J/120 sunk by a whale with all crew saved in a textbook Coast Guard rescue, and a Newport 41 driven ashore in benign conditions where the crew admitted: "We fucked up."
Drinks anyone? There were more concessions
at the Turtle Bay Beach Party than ever before.
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This year's most unusual concession at
Turtle Bay was horse rides.
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The next day was beach party day at unpopulated eastern Turtle Bay at the edge of the ruggedly beautiful Baja badlands. What a stunning venue! It was a mellow afternoon with locals having set up more food, drink, and trinket concessions than ever before.
Poobah Dogs sold well.
There is so much to remember in any given Ha-Ha, so it wasn't totally surprising that somebody forgot the volleyball net. The more sporty sailors compensated with free-form beach soccer. They had a great time, but for the rest of the Ha-Ha, you could hear the older participants moan about sore muscles.
The Battle of the Sexes Tug 'o War battle, always a crowd pleaser, featured about 125 participants. For the 17th year in a row, the women proved they were not the weaker sex. A few of the men groused that the Poobah had allowed 100 women to tug against 25 men. "Restorative justice" was the explanation.
Every Ha-Ha fleet has a different personality. This year's group was eager to participate in all the activities and were markedly non-aggressive. For example, with five minutes to go to the start of the Second Leg, 80% of the boats were still raising their anchors two miles from the starting line. The Ha-Ha is about safety and pleasure, not serious competition, so it was simpatico.
A typical Ha-Ha Second Leg breeze doesn't come up until about 2 pm, but this year it started early and filled in nicely, The sailing was excellent under sunny skies with colorful spinnakers framed against a brown mountain backdrop.
Alas, for less experienced sailors the wind built to higher than they preferred. By evening a few boats were reporting 30+ knots of wind and 15-foot seas, leaving some veteran ocean sailors to wonder when the last time the instruments on some boats had been calibrated.
Judging the height of the seas is always subjective. But noted offshore racer Chuck Skewes offered a rule of thumb. "If you're in the trough of 15-foot seas, you wouldn't be able to see the masthead of a boat right next to you."
Most of the fleet reported winds in the low 20s, with veteran ocean sailors and folks from Hawaii and the South Pacific calling the conditions "normal" and reveling in them.
Suzie Grubler and her female crew with a couple of "token males" from Lahaina, raved about the conditions they enjoyed with her Express 37 One-Eyed Jack. "We hit 17.9 knots, baby!" she said with justifiable pride. "We also had an awesome round down with the pole in the water, but nobody was hurt and nothing broke. It was awesome."This after her "best ever" birthday party" the night before aboard Andy Kopetsky's Columbia 57 Angelique, another boat with a lot of time in Hawaiian waters.
Steve Green on the Corsair 31 trimaran Mamacita described the conditions on the first evening of the Second Leg to be "fantastic and grueling." No wonder, as his 3,500-lb tri weighs less than the keels of many of the boats in the fleet. The Coloradan reported, "sailing at 17 knots 150 miles offshore in 10-foot seas. It was wet and wild, and we loved it!"
Conditions can seem different depending on the size boat a person is on and their experience. Farther inshore, lifelong ocean sailor Patsy Verhoeven figured her winds topped out at under 25 knots and the seas at eight feet.
Because she was at the head of the pack Profligate might have seen slightly lesser conditions than other boats, as in 20 knots of wind and perhaps five-foot seas. Nonetheless, the loaded-down gal with a crew of 12 in full cargo-carrying mode was often in the mid-teens and once hit 20.4 knots under reefed main and spinnaker. Waterline helps.
The stronger winds resulted in some torn sails, so it was a good thing that part of the Ha-Ha entry fee includes free sail repair service on Profligate by Ullman Sails in San Diego and the Pacific Northwest. Chuck repaired something like a dozen sails. What helped is that sewing machine repairs have been mostly replaced by repairs made with incredibly strong tape.
In a Ha-Ha first and an all-time Baja weird occurance,
there was a lot of lightning as the
fleet approached Bahia Santa Maria.
Don't laugh, as it was still working fine when they arrived in Cabo several days later.
As often happens, the wind died on the second day of the Second Leg, leaving much of the fleet to continue motoring. But then something happened that never happens on Baja.
Arriving first at spectacular Bahia Santa Maria, Profligate found typically lovely conditions with sunny skies and unusually warm water. But just a few hours later ominous clouds began to form to the west and northwest.
By "a lot of lightning", this is what
we're talking about. Profligate,
at
anchor in Bahia Santa Maria,
is the
blue dot in the center near the top.
But there it was, hundreds upon hundreds of strikes during the next eight hours in a band between the Second Leg finish and the anchorage — although there were some strikes in the anchorage, too. Vertical strikes, horizontal strikes, scary strikes. Each one documented on lightning tracking apps.
The other odd thing is that there wasn't any other lightning within 1,000 miles. Clearly, it was the work of Providence's evil twin messing with the fleet.
Most boats elected to hold back for hours and not cross the band to get to the anchorage. Vet of a dozen Ha-Ha's, Myron Eisenzimmer of the Swan 44 Mykonos finally got tired of waiting. So he drove right through the heart of the strikes to the anchorage. As soon as he did, he remembered that the "herd" followed.
Despite the concentration of strikes in such a small area, no boats were hit. But a lot of sailors reported sphincters had puck, puck, puckered, and even shorts soiled. Lightning, particularly in heavy doses, is a very scary thing.
During roll call the next day, it was learned that only one boat sailed the entire Second Leg. Patsy Verhoeven's 50-ft 47-year-old Talion with an old roller furling main and a hand-me-down spinnaker. It's all about being able to sail DDW on the rhumb line and maintaining the moderate displacement boats momentum.
The kids Olympic Diving Championships were held off
the back beam of Profligate. All the kids were winners.
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The Kids Diving Championship
also featured freestyle moves.
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For the next two days, the weather at pristine Bahia Santa Maria was typically ideal. The first day was for R&R-ing and the Kid's Diving Olympics off the back of Profligate. And that evening marked the arrival of Ricardo and Bob, saviors of the Ha-Ha.
A photo from the Bluff Party at Bahia Santa Maria showing all the anchored out boats.
It was on the bluff that Katie of One-Eyed Jack, who had just retired, spent several minutes convincing the Poobah that she was having not just a great time, but "the best time of my entire life."
"Me, too!" said the fellow behind her.
The conveniences on cruising boats have improved so
much over the history of the Ha-Ha. This lovely young
woman told us the cat she was on had four bidets!
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Katie from One-Eyed Jack insisted that
the
Ha-Ha is the most fun thing
she's done in her entire life.
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Andy of the Columbia 57 Angelique, sort
of
the
Lincoln
Town Car
of sailboats from
the '70s.
The current
custodian of the
apres
diving island lodge, he vows
to
return
for
Ha-Ha 30 . . . "If I'm in the hemisphere".
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The one and only Assistant Poobah,
the one and only skipper to have sailed
the entirety of all three legs.
A Ha-Ha legend, as she always sails every leg,
and she's done about 16 Ha-Ha's.
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The one thing you can always count on in a Ha-Ha is the Third Leg will feature light to moderate winds from aft and flat seas. But didn't we say this year was different? The Ha-Ha gods reached deep into their bag of tricks for the 175-mile last leg, so when the fleet was awoken at 0600 for the slated 0700 start, it was overcast and the wind was blowing the dogs off their chains on boats anchored farther out. Some were reporting winds in the 30s and even gusts to the 40s.
And rain? Yes, rain!
Since safety is the Ha-Ha priority and forecasts called for the winds to die, the Poobah delayed the official start until 0800, and then again until 1100.
Nonetheless, some of the more intrepid skippers started at 0700 and later called back to report sporty conditions. The winds were in the 20s and not so bad, but the seas were pretty big, had a short period, and were confused. While these reports resulted in many boats deciding to stay put, all the folks making the reports, mostly experienced sailors, were loving the challenging conditions.
About half the fleet still remained at anchor at 11 am when Profligate and a second group took off. It was indeed sloppy, yet two hours later the wind, as forecast, was down to as little as five knots and the seas had rapidly become benign. Based on the new reports, almost everyone left Bahia Santa Maria and headed for Cabo.
The Cabo 'Beach Party' was actually held on the Terrace at
Mango Deck,
which offered a perfect view of the fleet on the hook.
Because of the slow conditions, less than half the fleet was on hand for the Cheated Death Dance Party and Popcorn Throw at Squid Roe. But it was an enthusiastic group. It's great fun to see a couple of hundred normal serious and responsible people letting their hair down and acting silly for a couple of hours to celebrate what for many of them was their longest sail and first international trip. Even 80-year-old Randy Repass, the oldest sailor in the fleet, was seen on the dance floor.
The next day's festivities included the 'beach party' at Mango Deck's Terrace, a marvelous venue overlooking the entire fleet anchored in Mendano Bay. Unlike most years, almost the entire fleet stopped in Cabo instead of moving on, so it was crowded. The afternoon was concluded with the Here to Eternity Kissing Contest, with excellent participation. There wasn't too much surf to roll into, but there was a lot of enthusiasm.
The Ha-Ha ended the following evening with the awards ceremony hosted by the Cabo San Lucas Marina, which provided plenty of cold beer. Every participating boat got a 'trophy', and there were special joke awards to round out the evening.
Judging from the comments of participants, it was a hugely successful Ha-Ha, and for a variety of reasons.
A good number of couples made valiant efforts in this year's
Here To Eternity Kissing Contest. A real crowd pleaser.
Rampant 2, Cal 9.2. — "It was our first time on a long offshore sail and a big learning experience. Thanks to the organization and all the experienced sailors in the group, we avoided a lot of missteps."
Bear North, Hans Christian 48 — "It was the first major offshore sail for our wives. Being part of the Ha-Ha rally helped them and gave us guys hope for future adventures across the Pacific."
Curiously, even boats with some of the greatest adversity loved the Ha-Ha.
Ara, X Yacht 46 — "Woe was us. Our jib halyard chaffed through the first afternoon and had to do the rest of the Ha-Ha bald-headed. We still loved the whole event." (Shame on you, members of the Ha-Ha fleet would have been happy to work with you in Turtle Bay, so you could have had a headsail the rest of the way.)
Shoofly, Barnett 42 — "Not only did we lose a drone at the start, our spinny blew up, we dragged in Turtle Bay when not aboard, our windlass stopped working, and our engine kept surging so we currently have rigged a jury can for fuel. Nonetheless, our boat loved the windy conditions, and we loved the adventure, the participants, and the locals."
Perhaps the crew of the Hunter Legend 375 Fantasy summed it up most concisely. "It was an epic adventure. Friends were made, and stories will be told for the rest of our lives."
Thanks in a large part to Ricardo and Bob, there will be another, Ha-Ha fulfilling the vow that the Poobah made with the Assistant Poobah Pasty to do at least 30. Sign-ups start at noon on May 9 and the fleet will depart San Diego on November 4. We hope you can join us.
— Grand Poobah
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